The day after that we went tubing. Tubing is possibly the most infamous backpacker pastime ever. Last year alone 27 people died tubing. That doesn't even count all the accidents. That statistic alone should have been enough to keep us away. I suppose the fact that only 3 bars are open now was a strange reassurance, the other 16 closed due to an Australian MPs son dying during the summer (I heard someone say 'There's always one that ruins it for everyone else'). They've also closed down the ziplines and the subtlely named 'Slide of Death'. Anyway, we rented our tube and took a Tuk Tuk 3kms up river. Lorna asked for a life jacket and they said it was in the truck. It wasn't. And so off we went floating down a river, going from bar to bar to bar, drinking, collecting bracelets for every drink, and talking rot to people we just met. At the second bar there was body paint and after seeing a local woman paint a gorgeous flower on a girl I asked her to paint me (yes, I am that cool) but instead she paints the word FREE on my stomach and a big arrow pointing towards my bikini bottoms. Lovely. We stayed out in the last bar until 5.30 which doesn't sound wild but it takes a good hour and a half to float back to town and here it gets dark at 6. At least there was a group of us together; ourselves, three Germans, an Australian lady and her 12 year old son (imagine your mam taking you tubing!) and some other Irish we picked up along the way. Which would have been fine only I got separated from the group and floated in total darkness by myself for a solid twenty minutes. I also fell into the river out of my tube at one stage since one of the Germans got excited trying to take a picture and flipped my tube accidently. No, I wasn't annoyed at all.
The next day was a write off. I was so hungover from the day and night before (because a days drinking just isn't enough) that I stayed in bed all day. Lorna was fine but she had the good sense to quit while the going was good. I only left the guesthouse to go next door to the restaurant where they play Friends all day long. I watched a lot of Friends that day. Which is fine, because if I'm traveling for six months I'm going to have to have days where I do nothing so it wasnt wasted...what?!
Yesterday we were full of motivation after sleeping our lives away. We vowed to keep walking past the Friends restaurant and rented bikes. As soon as we paid, and I mean literally handed over cash to the lady, it started to drizzle. Looking at each other in total dismay we said 'Fuck it, sure we have our ponchos with us' and on we went. Our goal was to get to the Blue Lagoon for a swim. Everything was fine for about two minutes til we turned off the road on to a rocky lane way and saw a sign that said 'Blue Lagoon 7km'. I know Lorna was frustrated trying to navigate her way in and out of stones in the road so when we saw a sign for a cave we said we'd take a look. We turned off the rocky lane way onto an even rockier lane. We came up to a small river that looked like it might have appeared overnight. We rented a guide to take us the rest of the way and so we continued on our water themed week by wading up this temporary river for about 2km. I tried very hard not to think about leeches. He took us into this amazing cave hidden behind a tree. It was really something to see apart from the fact he made us crawl through a tiny opening. Note to self: do more yoga because me crawling through that hole was not elegant. After the cave we cycled on. We met a crowd of Laotian children on their way home from school and they all wanted high fives. Like a hero I cycled past a line of children slapping their hands. They were all so cute. So cute apart from one little fella who instead of giving me a high five punched me in the vagina. Not so cute. Anyway, so the blue lagoon wasn't blue. Turns out after a nights rain the lagoon turns a lovely shade of poo. We bought a bag of crisps and after 5 minutes munching we put our ponchos on and cycled 7km home in the lashing rain.
So that sums up our time in Vang Vieng, the most unlikely backpacker party town in the world. I read in the Lonely Planet visitors either adore the place or detest it and that the locals aren't really happy with the rowdy behaviour of tourists. I'm a bit indifferent but then I haven't been here in high season when the town is swamped full of tubers. I suppose we did meet a couple of absolute knobs 'working the season' here. You know the type; young, enthusiastic and thinks he's the shit because he's getting free accomodation and beer in return for talking crap to strangers. We were chatting to a particular fella who said he could never go home to live with his mam as all she does is give out to him for the amount of cups he has in his room. (in fairness my ma goes on about that too.) We were able to do some cool activities here though. The scenery is amazing and we had a few good nights out as well. Which brings me up to this exact moment, having to cancel our onwards bus to Vientiane because we are just too hungover to deal with life. A few episodes of Friends, perhaps?
P.S. Lorna went on a hot air balloon ride here and it crash landed in a rice field. She's fine.
